Two things happened this evening...
First, I got really excited about the prospect of beginning the trying to conceive journey. I don't know why it just hit me all at once tonight, but I was sitting on the couch and thinking about buying pregnancy tests for the next cycle and I was all of a sudden overcome with a wave of euphoria. I get to become a mommy all over again. That prospect is scary, but it's also really really exciting. I'm filled with hope about the second time around, but mostly I'm just excited that I'm able to depart once again. This is the only time I've ever been happy to see my period.
Secondly, I reached my fill of cute freaking babies on facebook. Facebook becomes an uncomfortable place in your mid to late twenties I think. All of a sudden everyone is posting wedding photos, changing their statuses, posting pregnant belly photos, posting cute videos of their kid's first steps. And if you aren't where you want to be (in any respect), that can get to be a little much from time to time. My cousin is teaching her baby the word "yes" and there's a video. Yippy. My high school friends' kids all look super cute in knit caps. Awesome. I sound bitter, and I guess I am. The trick is to not be jealous, and to just close facebook for a little while and do something else. In time, I'll be one of those annoying people, too. I personally can't wait. But for now I just have to focus on me.
In other news, I'm still meat free and I haven't smoked in five days (which is great considering my post-loss relapse). I'm hoping that some warm weather tomorrow will give me some walking opportunities, but I got in 1.9 miles of walking downtown today. It felt good to get moving again; I've let this wallow in your own self pity crap go on for way too long.
Facebook is a DISEASE if you are trying to run away from something. You are single? Everyone just got a bf, engaged, married. Looking for a job? Everyone post about their awesome career opportunities.
ReplyDeleteThe grass is always greener on the other side and Facebook is the super short picket fence that you can see over. What helped me, is unsubscribing from ppl who you don't really talk to. That way, when friends and family post about exciting news, you are more happy than bitter because you are not as overwhelmed, because some girl from HS that you haven't seen or spoken to in 7 years who you don't think is as deserving as you won't stop posting about their life.
Could you tell I'm bitter about some aspects of my life? :)
Keep on trucking. girl! Something great will happen.
Lol. Very sound advice about the deleting people. It's something I've thought about doing before, but at the end of the day my facebook jealous is momentary and quickly overpowered by my obvious fb addiction. I've heard people complain about FB in similar ways to both what you said above and what I said above. There is such a thing as having too much of a window into other people's lives, and I think that when you feel vulnerable, you only look at the positive things that people have that you don't rather than the opposite. Hence why fb is evil.
ReplyDeleteBut, at the end of the day, babies are pretty cute in knit hats I guess, even if I haven't seen their parents since 8th grade. lol.
And thanks for reading buddy!