I kind of feel like this whole experience has made me regress a little bit. I feel like I'm back to who I was in the summer of 2010. I'm not a fan of that person. She does little that's productive unless it's associated with her work. She's like a nonfunctional robot. She works, watches TV, smokes, sleeps, repeats. She doesn't exercise or count calories. She doesn't write or take in the sights. That person was more machine than man, and I have no interest in becoming that person again.
And yet...I have. But no more.
Tomorrow I go back to work a little bit more caught up with my work than I had been previously (thanks to more than 8 hours of work during my "weekend"). I'll take this (and the gorgeous weather) as a sign that it's time to rediscover my motivated, passionate, adventurous self. Time to quit smoking. Time to go for more walks and write more blogs. I need to regain some semblance of self-care or how will I ever be once again ready to be a mommy? I guess I just don't feel like I deserve it right now. I haven't done a thing to prove I'm worthy of it in nearly a month.
So tomorrow it's walking, going to the grocery store, and not smoking. These things must happen, and I believe that if I keep the end goal in mind...they will.
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