More Good Than Bad?

I almost feel guilty saying this, but today was a good day...alright, an okay day. But compared to the last week of awfulness, today was pretty nice.

First, I woke up early and got into work with plenty of time to get stuff done. Last week I was barely at work, and when I was, I could barely drag myself in by 8am. I kept myself super busy throughout the day today, so emotion didn't have a chance to dig its way into me. I hit up the grocery store after work, premade all of my lunches for the week, folded and put away laundry, and went to the gym. It's nice to feel a little productive for a change.

The gym was harder than I expected it to be, but I guess I've really been out of the game for like three months. I guess I was a little distracted with other things...sigh. I tried to jog on the treadmill with pretty painful results, but I think I'll be able to adjust pretty quickly if I keep going day after day. It might be advisable to ease into the jogging more slowly, however, especially until the doctor gives me the thumbs up.

19 minute mile? Pathetic. I was down to a 11-12 minute mile at the start of the summer. *grits teeth and growls*

My biggest joys of the day were my ability to stay away from cigarettes and the fact that I (almost) stopped bleeding! WOOT! I know it's probably TMI (so skip to the next paragraph if you want), but I didn't bleed at all until 8pm today. I was so confident that it had ended that I took off my pad and did a little happy dance for a return to normalcy. I was a little bummed when I started to spot at 8pm, but I'm not going to let it damper my mood. Fingers crossed for a blood-free day tomorrow. I know...I'm gross.

Also, I'm really happy that I was able to avoid smoking today. Even in a few short days, I could already feel nicotine reasserting its control over me. I just kept telling myself, "your baby wouldn't want that"...and today I regained my control.

Of course, today still had its "downs". The worst of the day was definitely when we had to share something "interesting" about ourselves in a meeting. Of course I was first to go. Even on a good day, I hate that whole something "interesting" routine. I find that there's no good answer. You say something you're proud of; you sound cocky. You say some random non sequitur, and everyone looks at you like you're out of mind. You say something too personal (like "i just had miscarriage last Tuesday"...jk...), and everyone gets all uncomfortable and can't look you in the eye. When they asked me, all I could think was "I just had a miscarriage...miscarriage...pregnancy...miscarriage". The rest of my mind was blank, and I grasped at the air for something to say to fill the silence (and also to keep from crying). I went with non sequitur and said "I like zombies". My boss probably thinks I'm an overgrown twelve year old. Head. Desk. Couldn't get that broken record "miscarriage" voice out of my head for the rest of the meeting.

But overall it's good to feel a little bit more normal, and keeping busy helps. I did well on my goals, too, so there's something to smile about.

Daily Goals Recap...
-Didn't smoke! woot!
-Walked/jogged 1.0 miles
-1,687 calories consumed
-Taking my vitamin right now