Yesterday was the free health screening at my job. They do your blood pressure, a couple blood tests, and ask you a series of questions to assess your overall health. I've done it every year, and it's really nice that my job offers it. I'm all kinds of paranoid about everything, so any test that they can run is fine by me.
This year's test was a little depressing though because I really have allowed myself to fall out of so many of the healthy behaviors I developed in 2010 and 2011. The first blow to my self esteem was putting my weight on the entry sheet. I didn't want to lie, but as I wrote down the truth I just wanted to punch myself in the face. I could sit her and try to pretend that some of that weight was the fault of the pregnancy, but give me a freaking break. We know it was just me enjoying horrible food for months. One thing I'm definitely NOT going to do the second time around? Allow myself to splurge and eat everything I want the second I pee positive on that strip.
At least my blood pressure was low as usual, but the health questions were also totally painful to my ego. They asked questions about your diet, exercise routine, etc. Had I answered these questions in August of 2011, my results would have been pretty stellar. But now? I know that when I get my results in the mail I'm going to be crushed. So I guess the only solution is to fix myself and my habits back to what they were before the pregnancy and before the loss. This has gotten out of hand.
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